Progress (oh, IF ONLY.....)

Weigh In - Week 14 Loss 200gms
Weigh In - Week 15 Loss 200gms)
Weigh In - Week 16 Gain 500gms urrrrah!!(

So, as you can see the progress was continuing at a very slow pace (considering the amount of exercise I have been doing) however it was going down. And then..... this Saturday a gain! I have had two 100gm gains over the 16 weeks, however this was so disappointing for me when I stood on the scales. I was gutted and guess what..... yes I headed down the bingeing slippery slope for two days. What really frightened me, when I came to my senses was how quickly I reverted back to the old binge cycle.

But I am now ok again - as of yesterday I am back on programme and determined not to give in to old habits. It is one day at a time - I so, do not want to put back on the 5kgs I have lost so far. It is only a small amount, but does make such a big difference to how I feel about myself and my clothes are not straining at the seams and my liver roll is not too large.. lol
This is the place that has become a common cycle for me, where I usually fall over and give up..... BUT NOT THIS TIME.

I also have decided to write out my goals for December - this is such a hard time of year for me and I usually end up weighing 2/3kgs heavier at the begining of January. This December is also going to be challenging as we are going on holiday for a week at the beginning of December. (yeah! really looking forward to some warm weather in Australia) I know I would be fine about December, if I was one of those people who could get stuck in and loose one or 2kgs over a couple of weeks in January. However face it Gabby, I AM NOT (as much as I want to be and complain about it, I now realise my body does not like to give up it's fat... man it is a struggle to let go of that stuff). I do exercise most every day for 1hr (and at a good level) cycling and brisk walking however my rate of loss is just so small. I also know I put on really fast - one day off programme and a good meal out with wine and guess what....it just feels so not fair. Enough complaining! I know what I have to do - I just need to stay in control - so here are my goals for December 2006 (written down!). Credit and inspiration for this idea must go to Anne from her blog - we share very similar traits and goals. Thanks so much Anne for doing it and inspiring me to do the same.

Weight Goal - Stay the same
Yes, that is right - I will be happy with that, with all the food and holidays, I will be working on not gaining for the month.

Exercise Goal - 10,000 steps per day
I wear a pedometer when I remember - for December I will wear it every day and clock up 10,000 steps per day or 70,000 for the week. This is quite achievable for me, however with holidays getting out sometimes can goes by the way. I will wear my pedometer when I go on holiday it will help as I will not have my regular routine..

Food Goal - No Scorched Almonds or cashew nuts
These are my down fall and I know I can not resist, once I start. For me one is just not enough and usually ends up a full packet. (yes, that is right I can eat a whole packet in one go) It is all those extras over the next weeks that just seem to jump into my month.

Other Goals - To have a good time without over indulging in food.
(this was an example from Anne and my WW meeting notes - really liked this so I am going to use it too - it sums it up nicely!)
NB :On Christmas day I really love Pav and fresh fruit salad this year I will allow myself a small plate - usually I just pick and before I know it have probably eaten half a pav.

So there it is my plan for December - wish me well

Be back soon!

AWOL

AUGUEST TO NOVEMBER - what is that all about. Well I have been reading lots of blogs!.........does that count?.
However I am really happy to report, I have been on the right track. A quick summary of the last three months regarding my weight loss journey is as follows.

1. I got that really bad relentless flu (it took me out for over 2 weeks). However as I was recovering I was so over myself I somehow got my head in the right space and decided to do something about this body of mine which I really did not like living in any more and made the right choices to change my lifestyle. If anyone is reading this and struggling - please be encouraged! ...... if I can do this so can you! I have learnt that it is all about your head space and never ever giving up on yourself. I think it is so true what I have read so many times before about really truly wanting something badly enough - I kind of had to hit rock bottom, before I knew I really really wanted to change (believe me when I say I was so over myself and how I was starting to look). So many times before I have said I wanted to loss weight - however two hours later faced with bread or muffins, I chose to eat and stay on the couch and watch TV. I am not saying it is easy - it is actually the hardest thing I have ever done, however the feeling for me of being back in control over food and feeling fit and healthy is priceless. I know there is going to be challenges (and boy this week is one of them) and I do and will fall off the horse, however I have made a commitment to myself to just get back on again the next day -no matter what. OMG I am sounding like one of those self rightous dieters! Enought Already !!!


2. Went back to WW and purchased a Spring Pass (paid until the week of Christmas).

3. Attended 13 continuous WW meetings.

3. I have lost 5kgs (it has been slow but steady) - I have worked really hard, however I have found that it is really slow, but I am determined to not give up. Had a couple of gains of 100gms and the rest have been losses! I have found going to the meeting and getting the group support is what I needed.

4. I have also been getting fit - cycling 3/4 times a week, plus at least 4 x 45mins on my treadmill (Go Gabby!) Feeling great. Even entered into the Molenberg Sub Stride & Ride Series (Cambridge this weekend a 15km cycle) - and also planning a few Duathalons over the summer. Gee it feels great to be fit!

5. Decided to do the 101 things in 1001 project that a few bloggers are doing. Just coming up with 101 goals was really hard. How the challenge is getting them done! - however quite inspired now they are written down! Will keep you posted.

Promise to back soon!

August Challenge

I have been reading Sue from Wellington's Blog and I was really inspired by her monthly Challenges which she has been setting herself - so I have decided to create some of my own for August. As you know, I really want to concentrate on getting back into some sort of exercise (I feel this is my missing link at the moment)

August Exercise Challenge!

• Go to the gym three times a week every week in August.
• Use my treadmill at home for 2 x 45min cardio workouts.
• Join a walking group (actually ring up and find out where they are held and participate in a walk)
• One day in each weekend I will go for at least one-hour walk

It does not sound that inspiring when I wrote this down - however I want to ensure that it is achievable. I have learnt that sometimes I make grandiose plans (totally over the top) and then never achieve them. So for now I believe for this August Challenge it will still be a stretch for me (considering I have not being doing anything) - however quite achievable if I focus on doing something most days.

New Month - and an inspiring message

Today I was reading Gail's Weight Loss Journal where Gail recommended a blog from a lady who had lost over 80kgs. What really spoke to me was how this lady never gave up (it was not an option)! This little saying kept running through my head all weekend - and it has now sunk in. GIVING UP IS NOT AN OPTION! For me!. No matter how long it takes or what happens along the way - yes I have gained, but so what. I am still here and I will keep going.

I am so inspired by this saying I have added it to my title.

End of another month....warning this is a big winge

June 30th - End of Month results........... Gains + More!

Since my last update things have gone from bad to worse - last week I had a huge gain (so bad I am too embarrased to even post it on this blog). And then this week has not been much better as I have had a terrible case of a winter bug with hacking cough. It was so bad, I even took myself off to the doctor, as I was feeling so sorry for myself. I am feeling a little better, however totally over everything.

Is it the time of year? Is it the Cold weather? Is it because I have been unwell? No! it is because I always seem to have an excuse and carve the feeling that food gives me. (Wonder what Dr Phil would say about that). So what have I been doing - lets be truthful?

I go weekly to WW for the meetings...
I regularly read other successfull bloggers blogs (those ladies really have it together)...
I track my eating on WW online (well I start each day until I go over my points) WTF that about?....
I read lots of great receipes and think yummy I should make that. (Honestly I have this thing about receipe books - I have draws full of great books, however rarely make anything from them)...
I have a gym membership (but always have an excuse not to go)...
Everyday I wake up and say "this is the day" I will follow the programme today...
Everynight I go to bed disgusted with myself having failed....

Tomorrow is WW and I really do not want to go. I have gained so much that I am now 2kgs above when I joined (I know that is totally unbeliveable to all those focused WWs). How this for avoidance tactics - at last week's weigh in, I even told the weigher I did not have my book as I didn't want her to see I weighed more than when I first started.!

Week 4 - WEIGH IN

Well I did go to WW and the result was worse than I even imagined..... a gain of +1.3gms!
So, I can winge about what a failure I am and go on and on about now I let this happen, or I can choose to get back on plan and make next week a positive result.

I choose to........ pick myself up and put in the work to ensure next week I will have a positive result. So my focus will be:


1. To stay within my points allocation of 22pts per day
2. To exercise for just 30 minutes a day! I can do this - (I have a treadmill, I have the shoes and water bottle!)
3. To drink 1.5ltrs of water a day. (Confession time - I have not been having my water intake for the last 2 weeks - I think it has been because it is so cold)
4. To blog each day and detail my progress.

Keep smiling - I believe I can do this!!!! watch this space

GOOD, BETTER, GREAT... and then Sabotage!

OMG - it has been nearly one month since my last update! I so admire those bloggers out there who update every day or even just once a week. I love to read others blog and regularly check in - however when it comes to update I seem to get writers block....

So to quickly update you and explain today's title. Well.... I went back to WW for the zillonth time three weeks ago. I know from experience I need to be accountable for my actions (sounds totally crazy to pay $'s just to step on the scales and some woman I don't even know record my weight in a blue book). But it works for me! I hadn't been for a month and my weight was on the up and up once again.

Week One - Good week! I felt great and was adopting the NC plan. I found not tracking was very difficult, so as I am a WW online member made the decision to still track. Cut out snacks and replaced them with fruit and three good meals a day.
Points was 20/23 per day. Loss 900gms WOOHOO

Week Two - Better Week! Feeling rather smug with myself and was on a roll - food was undercontrol and I was riding the losers wave. Loss 1.4gms (I rocked!!)

Week Three - Great day! I was fantasizing about my new wardrobe and counting down the weeks until I was at goal. THIS TIME I WAS GOING TO DO IT! I was going to join all those other successful,amazing bloggers out there - I was going to be one of you! My clothes were starting to feel a little loose and I am sure my back fat was shrinking.

But then... like so many times before - I fell off the wagon. Talk about self sabotage - for the last days I had eaten enough to feed a small starving nation. So much so I am too embarrassed to actually list what I have consumed. How could I just keep going, day after day? Each night I was so full I was uncomfortable and felt totally disgusted with myself. But did it stop me! NO! not even as I stepped on the scales each morning and saw the number climbing. A feeling of dread as the days tick by and I know the next weigh in is only a couple of days away. This behavior has become a major pattern in my life and I just don't seem to be able to change it. There is a great saying "If you do what you have always done - you will get what you have always got". and that is so true for my weigh struggle. For two to three weeks I am able to follow the plan and get results and then I hit a bump and fall right off plan and binge away. The feeling of failure is all consuming and I really start to hate myself.

Talk about major issues Gabby! so what am I going to do differently. To start with I am going to WW on Saturday no matter what! When I usually get to this stage I convince myself I will not go this week (and you know what then happens)

Any other suggestions will be greatly appreciated?

Success

A couple of successes to record over the last week.

At long last I have actually been able to figure out how to put up a profile picture!! Yeah - so simple when you know how..... Now I have a face to my blog.

Second success is that last week I competed in the Special K Duathalon - I did the Special K Triathalon last year with D1 for the first time, it was quite a stretch for me as I am not a swimmer, however we trained and did it! This year we decided to do it again (and I was really pleased to hear there was no swimming). However like a lot of things in my life I start off with a lot of enthusiasm, but never really fully commit. We registered at the beginning of the year and felt really comfortable there was a lot of time to train. We had great plans!!!

The weeks slowly ticked by and no training was done (always there was this little voice saying.... "Next week" we will start). Well only two weeks to go and I still had not even been on the my bike. It was with dread every time someone mentioned "Special K" to me. My poor bike was sitting in the garage -tires were flat as a pancake and the spiders had taken up residence in the wheels since last years event.

I had inspired a friend to register and I felt really bad when she called to ask about my training and would I like to go for a ride with her (she had just purchased a new bike for the event).

Not to admitt defeat, I dusted off the cob webs and pumped up the tires - I was off! Well I was on my bike a least - the first ride was ok - just a sore butt. The next week it was 10kms and a few hills, my competitive nature kicked in! I wanted to show my friend (who by the way was now in peak condition and been training for over 3months) that I could keep up with her.... After about 8kms and on the last hill I was nearly sick, my heart felt like it was going to jump out of my chest and my legs were burning. LOL - who did I think I was! thinking I could do this event with just 2 rides and a couple of walks. Well it got worse, three days before the big day I also developed a head cold...... but I was not giving up. and I am happy to say I DID IT........ 1Hr 15mins.... but I finished and have the photos to prove it. It was a beautiful day in Auckland! We were so lucky to have such perfect conditions (I know some of the other regions had the worse weather) and I have to say I am so proud I did it... at the end.!

So why can't I get this determination about my weight loss? I know I can do it, but something just does not click. I know, you will understand what I mean about the "click".... as I remember when I got to goal. Something just "clicks" and you are away. Does anyone understand what it is, or how you get it.

It is the start of another week and I am starting NC - will keep you posted.


Keep smiling
Gabby

I AM BACK............

I have tried for at least 1 1/2 hours to get this picture in my profile, but unfortunately is keeps erroring....????

Guess what I am back! Yes I have decided to pick up my Blog and start to write about what I am doing. I have been so inspired by others out there - they are amazing people. As you can see my weight has not changed from last Sept. It has gone down and then up and then down and now up again. Other people who I have read have done amazing things and I have followed these inspiring ladies on a regular basis. My congratulations go out to Phillipa who reached her goal last week. This lady is truly inspirational - her support to others in the Blog community is also outstanding.
So now is my time - I have made a promise to myself that I will update at least once a week to share my weigh in results and write about how I have been feeling. I so much want to stop my yo-yo diet mode and make a life long change in my relationship with food and learn to be comfortable in my body.