OMG - it has been nearly one month since my last update! I so admire those bloggers out there who update every day or even just once a week. I love to read others blog and regularly check in - however when it comes to update I seem to get writers block....
So to quickly update you and explain today's title. Well.... I went back to WW for the zillonth time three weeks ago. I know from experience I need to be accountable for my actions (sounds totally crazy to pay $'s just to step on the scales and some woman I don't even know record my weight in a blue book). But it works for me! I hadn't been for a month and my weight was on the up and up once again.
Week One - Good week! I felt great and was adopting the NC plan. I found not tracking was very difficult, so as I am a WW online member made the decision to still track. Cut out snacks and replaced them with fruit and three good meals a day.
Points was 20/23 per day. Loss 900gms WOOHOO
Week Two - Better Week! Feeling rather smug with myself and was on a roll - food was undercontrol and I was riding the losers wave. Loss 1.4gms (I rocked!!)
Week Three - Great day! I was fantasizing about my new wardrobe and counting down the weeks until I was at goal. THIS TIME I WAS GOING TO DO IT! I was going to join all those other successful,amazing bloggers out there - I was going to be one of you! My clothes were starting to feel a little loose and I am sure my back fat was shrinking.
But then... like so many times before - I fell off the wagon. Talk about self sabotage - for the last days I had eaten enough to feed a small starving nation. So much so I am too embarrassed to actually list what I have consumed. How could I just keep going, day after day? Each night I was so full I was uncomfortable and felt totally disgusted with myself. But did it stop me! NO! not even as I stepped on the scales each morning and saw the number climbing. A feeling of dread as the days tick by and I know the next weigh in is only a couple of days away. This behavior has become a major pattern in my life and I just don't seem to be able to change it. There is a great saying "If you do what you have always done - you will get what you have always got". and that is so true for my weigh struggle. For two to three weeks I am able to follow the plan and get results and then I hit a bump and fall right off plan and binge away. The feeling of failure is all consuming and I really start to hate myself.
Talk about major issues Gabby! so what am I going to do differently. To start with I am going to WW on Saturday no matter what! When I usually get to this stage I convince myself I will not go this week (and you know what then happens)
Any other suggestions will be greatly appreciated?
1 comment:
So just keep going each week regardless of the results - this is a background issue. You now need to make this journey the number one thing for you? Make a commitment to find out why you do it the way you do. But whatever happens keep going - if you stop it might be worse - right now you are still accountable
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