End of another month....warning this is a big winge

June 30th - End of Month results........... Gains + More!

Since my last update things have gone from bad to worse - last week I had a huge gain (so bad I am too embarrased to even post it on this blog). And then this week has not been much better as I have had a terrible case of a winter bug with hacking cough. It was so bad, I even took myself off to the doctor, as I was feeling so sorry for myself. I am feeling a little better, however totally over everything.

Is it the time of year? Is it the Cold weather? Is it because I have been unwell? No! it is because I always seem to have an excuse and carve the feeling that food gives me. (Wonder what Dr Phil would say about that). So what have I been doing - lets be truthful?

I go weekly to WW for the meetings...
I regularly read other successfull bloggers blogs (those ladies really have it together)...
I track my eating on WW online (well I start each day until I go over my points) WTF that about?....
I read lots of great receipes and think yummy I should make that. (Honestly I have this thing about receipe books - I have draws full of great books, however rarely make anything from them)...
I have a gym membership (but always have an excuse not to go)...
Everyday I wake up and say "this is the day" I will follow the programme today...
Everynight I go to bed disgusted with myself having failed....

Tomorrow is WW and I really do not want to go. I have gained so much that I am now 2kgs above when I joined (I know that is totally unbeliveable to all those focused WWs). How this for avoidance tactics - at last week's weigh in, I even told the weigher I did not have my book as I didn't want her to see I weighed more than when I first started.!

Week 4 - WEIGH IN

Well I did go to WW and the result was worse than I even imagined..... a gain of +1.3gms!
So, I can winge about what a failure I am and go on and on about now I let this happen, or I can choose to get back on plan and make next week a positive result.

I choose to........ pick myself up and put in the work to ensure next week I will have a positive result. So my focus will be:


1. To stay within my points allocation of 22pts per day
2. To exercise for just 30 minutes a day! I can do this - (I have a treadmill, I have the shoes and water bottle!)
3. To drink 1.5ltrs of water a day. (Confession time - I have not been having my water intake for the last 2 weeks - I think it has been because it is so cold)
4. To blog each day and detail my progress.

Keep smiling - I believe I can do this!!!! watch this space

GOOD, BETTER, GREAT... and then Sabotage!

OMG - it has been nearly one month since my last update! I so admire those bloggers out there who update every day or even just once a week. I love to read others blog and regularly check in - however when it comes to update I seem to get writers block....

So to quickly update you and explain today's title. Well.... I went back to WW for the zillonth time three weeks ago. I know from experience I need to be accountable for my actions (sounds totally crazy to pay $'s just to step on the scales and some woman I don't even know record my weight in a blue book). But it works for me! I hadn't been for a month and my weight was on the up and up once again.

Week One - Good week! I felt great and was adopting the NC plan. I found not tracking was very difficult, so as I am a WW online member made the decision to still track. Cut out snacks and replaced them with fruit and three good meals a day.
Points was 20/23 per day. Loss 900gms WOOHOO

Week Two - Better Week! Feeling rather smug with myself and was on a roll - food was undercontrol and I was riding the losers wave. Loss 1.4gms (I rocked!!)

Week Three - Great day! I was fantasizing about my new wardrobe and counting down the weeks until I was at goal. THIS TIME I WAS GOING TO DO IT! I was going to join all those other successful,amazing bloggers out there - I was going to be one of you! My clothes were starting to feel a little loose and I am sure my back fat was shrinking.

But then... like so many times before - I fell off the wagon. Talk about self sabotage - for the last days I had eaten enough to feed a small starving nation. So much so I am too embarrassed to actually list what I have consumed. How could I just keep going, day after day? Each night I was so full I was uncomfortable and felt totally disgusted with myself. But did it stop me! NO! not even as I stepped on the scales each morning and saw the number climbing. A feeling of dread as the days tick by and I know the next weigh in is only a couple of days away. This behavior has become a major pattern in my life and I just don't seem to be able to change it. There is a great saying "If you do what you have always done - you will get what you have always got". and that is so true for my weigh struggle. For two to three weeks I am able to follow the plan and get results and then I hit a bump and fall right off plan and binge away. The feeling of failure is all consuming and I really start to hate myself.

Talk about major issues Gabby! so what am I going to do differently. To start with I am going to WW on Saturday no matter what! When I usually get to this stage I convince myself I will not go this week (and you know what then happens)

Any other suggestions will be greatly appreciated?